* Spoilers ahead if you haven’t seen “Sons of the Harpy.”
Jorah and Tyrion's Boat Trip
Jorah uses his fists to secure a boat as Tyrion (unsuccessfully) attempts to free himself from the ropes that are binding him.
Another Boat Scene
Well, it's more of a ship, really. Jaime and Bronn are bound for Dorne, and they pass Tarth. You know, as in Brienne of Tarth? Bronn has visited Dorne before and isn't exactly enthused to find himself returning. Jaime says that they have to rescue his niece, and Bronn gives him a knowing look like, who do you think you're kidding, dude? We're going to rescue your daughter!
Watch Your Back, Mace Tyrell
At a Small Council meeting, Mace Tyrell announces that the Iron Bank has called in some of the debt that the crown owes to it. Cersei is sending him to Braavos to negotiate better terms, with Ser Meryn Trant accompanying him. Poor Mace.
The Faith Militant Go Bonkers
Cersei meets with the High Sparrow again and offers to arm him and his followers. She tells the High Sparrow that she knows a big sinner. Cut to the Sparrows rampaging around King's Landing, even in Littlefinger's brothel. Next, they arrest Loras Tyrell! Margaery confronts Tommen about her brother's arrest, and the King goes to his mother to demand that Loras be set free. Cersei replies that she's not the one holding him. Tommen then goes to see the High Sparrow, but his followers won't let Tommen through. The Kingsguard offer to cut through the Sparrows, but Tommen doesn't want to resort to violence. Margaery is clearly disappointed when Tommen returns without having secured Loras's release and says she needs to send word to her grandmother.
That Line Sounds So Familiar . . .
Stannis is watching Jon, and Selyse says that she should have given him a son. Melisandre asks Stannis if he'll march on Winterfell soon and if she'll be going with, which he says she will be. Jon and Sam are sending letters to different lords asking for more men for the Night's Watch. Jon doesn't want to appeal to Roose Bolton, but Sam points out that he's Warden of the North. Jon signs the letter. Melisandre then turns up and asks Jon to ride south with her, Stannis, and the Baratheon army. Then she pretty much throws herself at Jon. He admits that he still loves Ygritte. Rejected, Melisandre tells him that he knows nothing before exiting through the door.
Shireen goes to see her father and says that her mother didn't want to bring her to the Wall. Shireen point blank asks Stannis if he's ashamed of her. He recounts how Shireen caught greyscale as a baby from a doll that a Dornish trader had given to Stannis. Everyone advised sending Shireen away to prevent the spread of the disease, but instead Stannis called on every healer he could find to cure her. She hugs him, and, after a moment, he hugs her back! I think this is now one of my favorite scenes ever!
Sansa Learned from the Best
Or so Littlefinger believes. Sansa is in the Winterfell crypt in front of the statue of her aunt, Lyanna Stark, when Littlefinger finds her. He tells Sansa about the tourney at Harrenhal and how Rhaegar Targaryen gave a crown of winter roses to Lyanna instead of to his wife, Elia Martell. Littlefinger is returning to King's Landing per Cersei's summons, which alarms Sansa because that leaves her alone and surrounded by Boltons. Littlefinger assures her that she can handle herself because he's been such an awesome teacher. Is it just me, or did Littlefinger sound pretty #TeamStannis here?
I'd Help with the Rowing, But . . .
Bronn is stuck rowing the boat carrying him and Jaime because, you know, the hand thing. Jaime even holds up his hand to illustrate his point, which gave me a good laugh. They then have a very deep discussion about how they each want to die. Once ashore, they run into some Dornish troops, who order them to put their swords in the sand. Bronn obeys the putting down the sword part but then draws his dagger and gets to work. Jaime ends up fighting a Dornishman one-on-one and grabs the latter's sword with his golden hand, which gives the Dornishman enough pause for Jaime to strike with his own sword using his left hand. Bronn and Jaime survive the encounter and guess who has to bury the bodies because of the hand thing again? That's right—Bronn.
The Sand Snakes
Ellaria meets with the Sand Snakes, and unlike in the books, Tyene Sand is her daughter. Ellaria asks Obara and Nymeria if they will help her avenge Oberyn as well, and they agree to be her allies. They already know that Jaime is in Dorne.
You Can't Keep Tyrion Quiet
In their little boat, Tyrion is trying to talk to Jorah through his gag. Unable to take Tyrion trying to sing while gagged, Jorah removes it. Tyrion points out that they're heading in the wrong direction. Jorah says he isn't taking him to Cersei but to Daenerys. Tyrion correctly guesses that Jorah has been banished because Daenerys found out about the spying, and Jorah socks him.
A Very, Very, Very Sad Moment
Ser Barristan is telling Daenerys about how Rhaegar loved to sing to the people. It's a very lovely moment between the two, so you know that bad sh*t is about to go down. In the throne room, Hizdahr pleads with Daenerys again to reopen the fighting pits. The Sons of the Harpy go on a killing spree in the streets of Meereen and trap a group of Unsullied that includes Grey Worm. Barristan finds an injured Grey Worm alone and surrounded and fights like you'd expect from Barristan the Bold until he's slain in battle. NOOOOOOOOO!!!! After that happened, there was total silence in my house for a few minutes because we were so stunned by this turn of events. Ser Barristan, you were a most noble knight and you will be missed. *sniffles*
In the Next Episode
It looks like trouble for Sansa at Winterfell. Tyrion spots a dragon in the sky!