* Spoilers ahead if you haven’t seen “The Gift.”
Hey—I actually posted a recap before Friday, lol! It wasn't without some difficulty, however. I tap my episode notes in the Evernote app on my Kindle while watching (because if I had to rely on memory alone, there wouldn't be much of a recap). I try to watch each episode twice, just to make sure I haven't missed anything important. I was rewatching "The Gift" late Sunday night and somehow, in my state of tired, completely erased my notes as the episode was just about over. Poof. Gone. I have no idea how I accomplished this, but I can tell you that my idiocy greatly annoyed me because I usually copy and paste my notes from Evernote straight into Blogger and polish the post from there. So I scrambled to jot down as much as I could remember while it was still pretty fresh, and I think we're OK.
Off to Hardhome
Jon is preparing to leave Castle Black for Hardhome with Tormund Giantsbane. Tormund is led out, and Dolorous Edd removes his shackles. Once unbound, Tormund gives Alliser Thorne a pretty awesome "Come at me bro" look. Jon gives command of the Night's Watch to Thorne in his absence, and Thorne cheerily lets Jon know that this is a foolhardy mission he's about to embark on. Jon thanks him for his honesty. Then Jon and Sam have a nice bro moment as they say goodbye, and Sam sends him off with some dragonglass, to be used in case of White Walker emergency. The next scene also takes place at the Wall, where Sam and Gilly are watching over a dying Maester Aemon, who urges Gilly to take her baby south before it's too late.
Your Name Is Theon Greyjoy
Theon brings Sansa's meal to her in her locked room. She's covered in bruises and begs Theon to help her. He tells her to do as Ramsay wants, otherwise Ramsay will hurt her. Sansa insists that she still has friends and gives him a candle so he can light it in the broken tower. He goes to Ramsay instead. Cut to Brienne watching the broken tower for Sansa's signal.
And Now His Watch Is Ended
Maester Aemon dies, and Sam speaks at the service before the body is burned. Thorne tells Sam that he's losing all of his friends.
I Can't Unsee That
As snow falls steadily around them, Ramsay tells Sansa that she's made him very happy. He then mentions that Stannis and his army are on the move but hampered by the snow. Sansa asks him what will happen if his stepmother, Walda, has a son, a touchy subject with Ramsay. He insists that won't matter since he's been legitimized by the Iron Throne, plus, Jon Snow is a bastard and now he's Lord Commander of the Night's Watch. The news surprises Sansa. Ramsay then shows her the flayed body of the loyal Winterfell servant who was trying to help her.
We March Now or Else
The snow is wreaking all kinds of havoc for Stannis. Davos advises marching back to Castle Black to wait for the snow to clear, but Stannis says they have no idea how long the winter will last. They have to march now. After Davos leaves the tent, Stannis asks Melisandre if she's sure they're heading in the right direction. She says she's seen herself walking along the battlements at Winterfell. But, to ensure victory, she wants to sacrifice Shireen! Stannis orders her out.
Sam the Man
Two of the Night's Watch find Gilly alone and try to assault her. Sam tries to defend her but takes one hell of a beating from his "brothers." And then Ghost turns up! Gilly tends to Sam's injuries and then the moment we've been waiting for between these two happens.
Tyrion Negotiates a Package Deal
After exaggerating some of Jorah's achievements, the slaver sells him. Tyrion insists that he must go with Jorah because they're a team and attempts to prove he's a fighter, too, by knocking his captor to the ground and whaling on him with his chain. Thanks to his antics, which come across more amusing than fear-inspiring, Tyrion gets to stay with Jorah.
Daario's Proposals Get Shot Down
Daario tells Daenerys to marry him instead of Hizdahr, but she says she can't. He then advises her to gather all the masters on the day of the great games and slaughter them all, an idea that draws even less enthusiasm than his previous one.
Olenna vs. the High Sparrow
Lady Olenna goes to see the High Sparrow and offers him gold if he releases her grandchildren. The High Sparrow is not having it; he replies that he serves the gods and the gods demand justice. Outside the sept, she receives a message from Littlefinger.
I Love Her
Tommen is with his mother and vents his frustration over being King yet unable to do anything to help his wife, whom he loves. Cersei offers to speak to the High Sparrow on his behalf.
In Other Teen Angst. . .
Jaime gets to speak alone with Myrcella and says that her mother is worried about her safety and wants her to return with him to King's Landing immediately. A defiant Myrcella declares that she loves Trystane and is going to marry him, and they're not leaving Dorne. Meanwhile, Bronn is locked up in a neighboring cell alongside the Sand Snakes. Jerome Flynn has such a lovely singing voice; if there's a sequel to Game of Thrones: The Musical, this guy NEEDS to be in it! Tyene starts messing with Bronn and reveals that she coated her dagger with poison. He starts feeling the effects, and after Tyene has had her laughs, she tosses Bronn the antidote.
In his sacked brothel, Littlefinger meets with Olenna. She warns him that if House Tyrell goes down, he will too because they plotted to kill Joffrey together. He says he has information that Cersei doesn't.
YES! THIS REALLY HAPPENED!
Daenerys and Hizdahr are attending a kind of preliminary round for the great games. Jorah spots Daenerys in the crowd and makes his way into the fighting pit. He puts on an impressive display and whips off his helm, face all expectant, to which Daenerys says, get him out of my sight. Tyrion then makes a fantastic entrance and introduces himself to Daenerys Targaryen, an event that readers of the books still await.
Cersei pays Margaery a visit in her cell, and obviously, Margaery is NOT pleased to see her. Cersei is unbearably smug in her triumph, but, not so hasty there, Cersei. The High Sparrow has a surprise for you: Lancel has spilled the beans about her sordid deeds and now she's under arrest, too. Serves that hateful bitch right.
In the Next Episode
Tyrion and Jorah go before Daenerys. It's Cersei's turn to not look queenly. Long time, no see, Rattleshirt!