One of my favorite quotes from the Shatter Me series is, of course, a Warner one, when he says to Juliette in Unravel Me, "I am so tired, love. I'm so very, very tired." Well, I can absolutely relate to that sentiment at the moment, a thousand times over. Before I go any further with this post, I'd like to say that I know I'm not alone in finding it difficult to balance reading and blogging with everything that's not reading and blogging. I also realize that I wrote a similar post a few months ago. But I think I'm even more frustrated now with how I seem to be spinning in circles in just about every aspect of my life, including blogging. So I'm sorry to once again use the blog as an outlet, and if you wish to bail on this post now, I totally understand.
I've allowed something that I vowed would never happen to do exactly that—I've let both reading and blogging become a second job. This stems from my failure to turn off work mode when I come home from my actual job, which has been keeping me extremely busy as of late. I've reached this point where I actually feel guilty if I find myself sitting for more than five minutes doing nothing. I should be doing laundry. I should be grocery shopping. I should be cleaning the house. I should be writing a book review. Bottom line: I've been trying to schedule every minute of what should be free time, emphasis on the "free" part. Ridiculous? Absolutely, and it needs to stop. I'm tired of heading out most mornings with an upset stomach and generally feeling burnt out and like my time belongs to everyone except me.
So I need to make a few adjustments to my outlook. One, work is work and work mode ends the second I leave it for the day. Two, the blog is not my job, and I have to quit treating it as such. I started out the year with the right mindset, resolved not to get bogged down in schedules and stats. Somewhere along the way since I wrote my blogging resolutions post in January, my resolution to keep blogging stress-free went out the window. Right now I'm finding blogging to be a chore, and so I'm taking a few days (like, five), off. And I promise, it's not the kind of break that starts out short but ends up permanent. I just need a couple of days to recharge my blogging batteries as well as kick this nasty cold I've picked up because I'm quite rundown in general.
After the brief break, I'm adopting a Zen-like approach to blogging. No posts? No worries. I'll write some eventually. As much as I love adhering to a schedule and having posts stockpiled and ready to go, that isn't always manageable for me anymore, and I need to accept that fact. If I can knock out a few posts in a week, awesome; if not, it's not the end of the blog. I love it too much to pack it all in; I just need to take a step or two back and not make it the sole focus of my free time. One of my personal resolutions for this year was to live in the moment more, and I've been a total fail at that so far in 2014. I've got to take more time out to just enjoy life, starting now. And if that means taking short blogging breaks more often, that's what I'm going to do. I'd rather do that and return refreshed rather than struggling to keep it up and driving myself to quitting. And so, I'll see you back here in a few days! :)
I'm sorry to hear things have been so hectic! It's totally understandable to take breaks - we'll miss you, but definitely have fun and relax! We'll all still be here! :)
ReplyDeleteAww, thanks Charlene! Not worrying about the blog for a few days has been very exhilarating so far, and just what I needed. :)
DeleteYou are doing the absolute right thing. Kudos to you for realizing that enough is enough! I've yet to learn that lesson. I've come to see my blog as a second job as well, and sometimes it has me flat out STRESSED.
ReplyDeleteI think this break will do you wonders, enjoy every bit of it, you deserve it!
I realized that I was worrying a lot about things, both blog and non-blog related, that really weren't high priority. The stress build-up was starting to take a physical and mental toll, and I didn't want to go on like that. I hope you find a blogging balance, too. :)
DeleteI agree 100%: if it feels like a chore, it's not fun anymore and you need get some time off! I am sorry that like has been so hectic for you lately though...when free-time becomes a rarity. Ugh :( I just kind of dropped off the earth with the blog myself at the end of last year there so kudos to you for even whipping up a post haha anyways I sincerely hope things mellow out for you soon!! Take as much time as you need (though I am glad to see you'll be back) ♥
ReplyDeleteThank you! ♥ I was feeling so overwhelmed, and I needed to take a step back and be realistic about how much time I can put into something that's supposed to be a hobby, not a job. It's challenging for me not to treat blogging as something that I HAVE to do because I'm a perfectionist with often unrealistic expectations of myself. But, everyone's lovely and supportive comments on this post remind me why I do this in the first place-because I LOVE chatting with all of you! OK, I'm gonna shut up now before I start bawling, lol!
DeleteYep, I'm doing the exact same thing. I just can't have a post everyday right now so I'm not going to let it stress me. I realized that I wasn't spending as much quality time with my son because I had my laptop out blogging and that's not ok with me. I'll still be here reading your posts when you have them :D I hope you enjoy the break and get what you need out of it. I also hope you stick to what you want to do about not letting it become stressful. I finally had to let it go when I realized I wasn't able to read as much. Have fun! We'll see you when we see you. Jaclyn @ JC's Book Haven.
ReplyDeleteI was also finding myself spending less and less time with Ally, Melissa, and the rest of the family because of work and everything else, and that was a huge no-no. Easing up on the blogging has definitely been the way to go!
DeleteAwww sorry to hear you're feeling burnt out! I can 100% empathise with treating a blog as a second job. It can get a bit draining. Hope the break doea you good and lookong forward to seeing you when you're back :) x
ReplyDeleteThanks! :D It's hard realizing that I don't have the time I used to for both reading and blogging, but accepting it and working with the time I do have has eased the weight that's been on my mind.
DeleteI can totally understand! (Since I took a whole six months break and all). I hope you feel better and refreshed after your break! And if not then I recommend slowing down your schedule so you'll have more time to chill out and enjoy life! Enjoying life is something that I think everyone needs to do and if you're not enjoying it anymore then you need to take a step back and evaluate, then change things so you're happy.
ReplyDeleteGood luck! And don't feel guilty or stressed for being so tired! I'm pretty sure everyone can relate!
x
I was making myself really unhappy trying to juggle so many things, including blogging. I was hesitant to take a break precisely because I felt guilty about not being able to balance everything. Some things had to give, and blogging is one of them. I definitely was not enjoying life because I was stressing out over really insignificant stuff, but I see that now, and I'm trying to just sit back and go with the moment.
DeleteAnd I'm so happy to see you blogging again! :D
You're not alone. Believe it or not I feel the burn! I've unsubscribed to a lot of tour organizers already because its those extras that takes the fun off blogging. The pressures of reading a book at a specific date and creating the post gets to me.
ReplyDeleteAt the same time, your blog doesn't have to be always about books. You can share other stuff with us that interests you. Maybe that will help take the pressure off reading and reviewing w/o sacrificing your readership?
I hardly sign up for tours anymore either for the same reason. I've really grown to appreciate reading at my own pace, which nowadays is super slooooowww, lol.
DeleteI've been thinking about occasionally doing some non-bookish posts and probably will give them a shot soon.