* Spoilers ahead if you haven’t seen “The Wars to Come.”
So Season 5 of GoT premiered last Sunday. And I'm just getting this recap posted today, lol. Last week was super busy and the upcoming week is going to be about the same, but after that I'm hoping to return to posting recaps on Tuesdays. So let's get to recapping the first episode of the new season!
It's young Cersei! And she was every bit as arrogant back then. She and her timid friend meet this creepy woman who's allegedly a witch and a fortune teller. Cersei demands her fortune from the woman and has to offer some blood in exchange. The witch tells her that she'll be queen one day but will be cast down by someone younger and more beautiful (hmmm . . . Margaery Tyrell?). Additionally, the king will have 20 children but Cersei will have 3 with gold crowns and gold shrouds.
Back to the Present
Cersei makes her way to the Great Sept of Baelor where Tywin's body lies in repose. Those stones that are placed on the eyes of the deceased seriously freak me out. Anyway, Jaime is already there and warns his sister that they're surrounded by enemies, all ready to tear down the empire that Tywin spent his life building. Cersei replies that Tyrion is the enemy and asks Jaime if he set Tyrion free, and it's really a rhetorical question because she already knows he did.
The View from a Crate
Tyrion and Varys arrive in Pentos. Well, it's more like Tyrion is unceremoniously dumped from his shipping crate onto Pentoshi soil. Varys admits that Illyrio Mopatis is his colleague and they've been working toward a Targaryen restoration.
Daenerys Has a Harpy Problem
In a very impressive scene with some awesome visual effects, the Unsullied bring the giant harpy statue that sat atop Meereen's pyramid crashing to the ground. One of the Unsullied is killed in a brothel by a group known as the Sons of the Harpy, and news of his murder reaches Daenerys. She orders that the killers be found. Missandei seeks out Grey Worm and asks him why the Unsullied visit brothels; he tells her that he doesn't know.
Jon's Got Some Work to Do Before Nightfall
Jon is sparring with young Olly, the lad who put an arrow through Ygritte last season. Ser Alliser Thorne apparently survived that epic battle, because here he is palling around with Janos Slynt. Thorne is a candidate to become the next Lord Commander, and Gilly begs Sam not to let Thorne send her and her baby away if Thorne is chosen as the new leader of the Night's Watch. Meanwhile, Jon is summoned before Stannis and has to ride the lift to the top of the Wall with Melisandre. And it's just awkward. Davos observes that some of the Night's Watch love Jon, but others . . . not so much. Stannis dangles the prospect of getting some revenge against Roose Bolton in front of Jon, but Stannis can't retake Winterfell without more men. Stannis wants the Wildlings to fight for him, and in return, he's willing to pardon them. To this end, Stannis needs Jon to convince Mance Rayder to bend the knee. By nightfall, or else Melisandre is going to have a field day burning yet another person alive.
Robin Arryn Gets Some Training
And he's really bad at sword fighting. I mean, the kid is getting his ass kicked. Is it bad if I admit that I found that kind of amusing? Well, I did. Lord Royce, who's going to be looking after the young Lord of the Vale, Sansa, and Littlefinger are all watching. Lord Royce expresses his lack of optimism regarding Robin's potential for improvement.
Brienne is sharpening Oathkeeper and is in a seriously bad mood. She's mean to Pod and tries to send him away. Poor Pod; he really does try to be a good squire. As they're having this very awkward moment, Littlefinger and Sansa's carriage passes right by them!
Oh, Hi Lancel
Loras tries to say some nice things about Tywin to Cersei. Cousin Lancel makes a surprise return, and he looks quite different these days—short hair, plain robe. His father, Ser Kevan, is clearly embarrassed by Lancel's newfound piety with a group called the Sparrows. Lancel catches Cersei alone and asks for her forgiveness in leading her to darkness. She acts like she doesn't know what he's talking about and then he refers to their *ahem* inappropriate relationship and the wine that he kept supplying Robert with during the boar hunt, at Cersei's behest.
Margaery's Most Inconvenient Arrival
Loras is messing around with that guy in Littlefinger's employ when Margaery walks in to announce that they're late for dinner with the King. She advises her brother to exercise more discretion, but he protests that everyone knows about him anyway. Loras says that with Tywin dead, there's no one to force Cersei to marry him.
Varys Lays His Cards on the Table
The Spider is very chatty in this episode with regard to his motives and goals. Tyrion wants to know why Varys helped him escape, and Varys replies that he did it for the Seven Kingdoms. Furthermore, Tyrion has a role to play in the war to come. Varys just wants peace for the realm and says that Tyrion may not sit on the Iron Throne himself, but he could help someone else, i.e. Daenerys, ascend it.
A Mother of Dragons Needs . . . Dragons
Hizdahr and Daario return from their successful mission to Yunkai, where the masters have requested that the fighting pits be reopened. Daenerys balks at the idea, but Daario later tells her in private that she should grant the request. He adds that she needs to show her strength: she's the mother of dragons, not the mother of the Unsullied. She fears what the dragons will do if she releases them because she can't control them. Daenerys visits Rhaegal and Viserion in their prison, and they're not exactly happy to see her.
Jon and Mance's Last Chat
Jon goes to see Mance, who acknowledges that this is their final meeting. The King Beyond the Wall confesses that he doesn't want to die, especially by being burned alive, but it's better than betraying his beliefs. Jon tells Mance that he's making a terrible mistake by not bending the knee to Stannis. Later, Mance is brought out in chains. Tormund and the other Wildlings, including Gilly, are present to watch, along with Selyse and Shireen Baratheon. Of course it's Melisandre who lights the fire, and as the flames rise higher around Mance, Jon shoots him with an arrow.
In the Next Episode
It's our first, highly anticipated trip to Dorne, where they're mourning the Red Viper, Oberyn Martell, and, it appears, plotting vengeance. Arya knocks on the door of the House of Black and White, the home of the Faceless Men (remember Jaqen H'ghar?).