Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Discussing Game of Thrones: High Sparrow

* Spoilers ahead if you haven’t seen “High Sparrow.”

I Didn't Come Here to Sweep Floors

That's right—Arya is at the House of Black and White to learn how to kick ass like a Faceless (Wo)Man. Instead, though, she's sweeping the floor like Cinderella. Jaqen reminds her that all men must serve.

Margaery Gets Married Again *yawn*

Cersei is being transported to the Great Sept of Baelor yet again, this time to see Tommen wed Margaery. In one of the major departures from the books in this episode, the marriage is consummated. Margaery gets right down to the business of coaxing her new (and third) husband into sending his mother packing to Casterly Rock and thus out of Margaery's hair. Cersei pays her daughter-in-law a visit, during which Margaery is pretty bold with her comments. But here's the important question: will Ser Pounce the cat appear in any episodes this season?

Stop Eating and Listen

It's our first look at Winterfell this season, which is in the process of being rebuilt . . . under Bolton rule. Roose warns Ramsay that they don't have enough men to hold the North. Roose's deal was with Tywin Lannister, and with Tywin dead, House Bolton is in a precarious position. So Ramsay is going to marry Sansa to strengthen their hold on Winterfell. Yes, that's right. Ramsay is not marrying Sansa's friend Jeyne Poole forced to pose as Arya, per the books, but Sansa Stark herself. And in another twist, Brienne and Pod have followed Littlefinger and Sansa all the way to Winterfell.

Brienne and Pod Make Up

Brienne admits that she's been mean to Pod and feels rather bad about it. She asks him how he came to be Tyrion's squire. Pod was about to be hanged for eating half of a stolen ham when Tywin Lannister pardoned him and assigned him to Tyrion's service. Pod says he's proud to be Brienne's squire. AWWWWWW!!!! Brienne is going to give him some sword training. He then asks her how she ended up in Renly's service and she recounts his chivalry at a ball in Tarth when the other men in attendance mocked her.

Jon Is Staying a Snow

OK, so I feel sorry for young Olly, whose mama and papa, you may recall, were eaten by Styr the Magnar of Thenn in Season 4. But, Dolorous Edd is supposed to be Jon's steward! I love Edd and all of his gloomy, doomy words of wisdom. Anyway. Stannis wants to know if Jon has considered his offer of making him a Stark if he'll help Stannis win the North. Jon replies that he's devoted to the Night's Watch. Stannis reminds him that it was honor that got Ned killed. Too true! Jon inquires as to the length of Stannis's stay at the Wall because they can't continue feeding Stannis's men and the Wildlings. After Stannis exits, Davos has a little heart-to-heart with Jon and rightly observes that as long as the Boltons rule the North, the North will suffer.

Arya Already Has an Enemy

Jaqen walks in on another girl in the House of Black and White roughing up Arya. To truly embrace her new life there, Arya has to give up all the things that make her Arya. She hurls most of her possessions into the water but hesitates over Needle. She cries while holding her beloved sword (I totally almost did, too, because it was a gift from Jon!) and buries it under some rocks rather than throwing it into the sea. Arya then helps the girl she was fighting with earlier wash a dead body.

The North F****ing Remembers!

Sansa is back at Winterfell, and as one of the servants leads her to her room, the servant tells her that the North remembers!

Jon Passes a Sentence and Swings the Sword

Jon Snow actually jokes as he addresses the Night's Watch. Things turn serious quickly, though, as he appoints his arch nemesis Ser Alliser Thorne First Ranger. Jon tries to give Janos Slynt an assignment, but Slynt vehemently refuses the command. And so Slynt is dragged outside, whimpering for mercy as Jon takes off his head.

High Septon, High Sparrow

Lancel busts the High Septon having a jolly good time at Littlefinger's establishment. He has to walk the streets in shame and complains to the Small Council about his treatment. Pycelle is rather defensive of the High Septon, which is pretty hilarious because he himself once got busted by Tyrion, Bronn, and Shagga while entertaining a young lady, lol. The High Septon wants the leader of this upstart religious movement, the High Sparrow, punished. Cersei goes to see the High Sparrow and finds him handing out food to the poor. She tells him that the High Septon is now in the dungeons.

Dr. Qyburn's Lab

Qyburn is in his lab when Cersei arrives because she wants him to send a message to Littlefinger. OK, I nearly crapped myself when the thing that's under the sheet (Frankengregor!) suddenly moved, lol!

Roose Bolton, Mail Tamperer

Theon hides his face from a passing Sansa. Ramsay tells Littlefinger that he'll never hurt Sansa, which, I'm not quite sure I believe. It looks like Sansa is also going to see some trouble from Ramsay's bevy of lady friends, who shot Sansa rusty dagger looks when she arrived at Winterfell. Bolton tells Littlefinger that Cersei will be enraged by Littlefinger marrying Sansa to Ramsay. He further casually says that he read Cersei's message to Littlefinger before handing it over and will also be reading any reply.

I Have to Get Out of This Wheelhouse

Tyrion is going nuts being confined. He and Varys arrive in Volantis, where a Red Priestess is giving a sermon about the Dragon Queen. Later in a brothel, they run into a sad-looking Jorah, who grabs Tyrion, ties him up, throws him over his shoulder, and says that he's taking Tyrion to the queen.

In the Next Episode

The Sons of the Harpy continue to cause trouble for Daenerys. It's time to meet the Sand Snakes of Dorne!


  1. When Jon puts Janos in his place and tell him, you mistake me, that was a command. not an offer! I was like YASSS, I'm here for that all day long. And when he did the damn thing and chopped his insufferable head off! OMG he looked so much like his father in that scene!

    And poor Sansa. She def wins the award for most horrendous marriages.

    And rewatching the scene where Arya contemplates throwing away needle had me tearing up. I'm glad she opted to hide it instead. To me it symbolizes her keeping, but hiding away the part of her that is still Arya Stark of Winterfell so she can become a faceless man.

    And Tyrios stay getting in trouble behind some snatch. I need him to do better, he's too smart for the shenanigans.

    1. Tyrion is in such bad shape right now, especially his frame of mind. Jorah was looking pretty down in the dumps, too, especially with that Daenerys impersonator hanging around the brothel.

      I'm really curious to see how Ramsay is going to treat Sansa. I'm shuddering just thinking about what happened to Jeyne Poole in A Dance with Dragons. And then there's the question of what Brienne is going to do here- quite a few changes from the books taking place at the moment on the show.


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