Discussing Game of Thrones: Winter Is Coming

* Spoilers ahead if you haven’t seen “Winter Is Coming.”

Hello there, fellow Game of Thrones fans! It's almost that time again—a brand new season of GoT is about to premiere! Can you tell by all of the exclamation points that I'm a a little bit excited?!!!!

Something that I've wanted to do for ages is recap the first two seasons for the blog. See, back when the show made its debut in 2011, I was all, "What is this thing you call a blog?" I began posting recaps at the start of Season 3, with the intention of digging out my DVDs of the previous seasons and writing up some summaries for the earlier episodes. Me being me, of course, here were are approaching the beginning of the fifth season and I'm just getting around to this much-delayed project. Soooo, to squeeze in 20 episodes before April 12, sometimes I'll post two recaps in a day so that we're all caught up for Season 5. Now let's get started!

Lesson #1 for Watching Game of Thrones: Do NOT Get Too Attached to the Characters!

And so our TV watching begins. The opening scene of the Night's Watch out on a mission to track Wildlings follows the book very closely. OMG, I remember reading this part in the book and committing to memory all of the characters' names. The joke was totally on me because . . . most of them die nearly straightaway! The White Walkers mean business when they're out and about killing, in case there was any doubt.

Opening Credits of Awesomeness!

This show does everything, including the opening credits, on a scale of epicness. The credits cleverly give you a sense of the locations that you're about to visit and how they're situated geographically. And it's nice to return to a time when Winterfell wasn't shown burning. :/

Take a Mental Photograph

Because this loving look at the Stark family at home in Winterfell isn't going to last. No, not long at all. The Stark kids all look so young here. And hey—it's Sean Bean as Ned Stark! He says the classic line: "Winter is coming." Indeed it is, Ned. Indeed it is.

Those Two Are Up to What?

In King's Landing, mourning bells are ringing in the sept for Jon Arryn, Hand of the King. Cersei and Jaime Lannister's twin blond heads make their first appearance as they discuss some secret or other that Jon Arryn may or may not have known. Hmmmm . . . .

Dark Wings, Dark Words

A raven has brought the news of Jon Arryn's death to Winterfell as well as word that King Robert Baratheon, the queen, and the rest of their party are headed north. Lord and Lady Stark know that the king is going to ask Ned to be the new Hand of the King. Ah, if only we could rewind time so that Ned could be all like, "Hell. NO!" I love how beautiful the godswood at Winterfell looks.

Always Listen to Your Mother

Catelyn catches Bran scaling a wall and gives him a good scolding. Some serious foreshadowing here!

They're Here!

Arya is running around trying to get a good view as the King's party arrives at Winterfell. And she's doing this wearing a guard's helmet, which is hilarious. Here's our first look at Prince Charming himself, Joffrey Baratheon! I say that, of course, with all the irony in the world. King Robert wants to go straight to the crypt to pay his respects to Ned's sister, Lyanna, who was also Robert's betrothed. Queen Cersei is not pleased. In the crypt, Robert officially asks Ned to be Hand of the King and proposes that Joffrey marry Sansa. Doubly bad idea.

Jaime Locates a Missing Lannister

And it's Tyrion! In a whorehouse. Jaime requests that Tyrion be present for dinner so he's not left alone with all of the northern crowd.

It's Targaryen Time

Viserys and Daenerys are camping out in Illyrio Mopatis's pad in Pentos, where Viserys is plotting to claim his rightful place as ruler of the Seven Kingdoms. Viserys is also a total creeper and deranged, probably because of all that Targaryen inbreeding over the years. Daenerys is to marry Dothraki horse lord Khal Drogo, creating an alliance that will aid Viserys in his quest for the Iron Throne.

Partying it Up at Winterfell

Sansa is all moony about the prospect of marrying Joffrey while her mother is rightfully skittish about the arrangement. At the feast, Robert is making a spectacle of himself and embarrassing the hell out of Cersei. Bastard Jon Snow has been banished out of sight by Lady Catelyn, and when Ned's brother Benjen rides up to Winterfell, Jon asks him to take him back with him to the Wall. Back inside, Catelyn tries to make polite conversation with Cersei, and in a scene that still cracks me up, Robb has to remove Arya after she flings food across the table at Sansa.

A Most Troubling Missive

Ned and Catelyn's quiet time is interrupted by the arrival of a letter from her sister, Lysa, claiming that her husband, Jon Arryn, was murdered by the Lannisters. Lysa and her son have fled King's Landing, and she warns that the King is in danger. Maester Luwin urges Ned to accept Robert's offer to become Hand of the King because Robert needs someone he can trust, while Catelyn opposes the idea.

Partying It Up with the Dothraki

It's Daenerys and Drogo's wedding day, and things are pretty crazy. Ser Jorah Mormont, he of the sexy, growly voice, introduces himself to Daenerys and presents her with books as a wedding gift. I love this guy already. Illyrio's presents are dragon eggs that are supposed to be fossilized. The key word being "fossilized." We'll see about that.

Mom Was Right

A hunting party departs Winterfell as Bran, ignoring his mother's warning, climbs a tower. The poor lad happens upon a most disturbing scene involving some blond twins and gets shoved out the tower window. And that's the end of Episode 1!