Discussing Game of Thrones: The Queen's Justice

* Spoilers ahead if you haven’t seen “The Queen's Justice.”

This recap is super late, obviously, LOL. Last week was crazy busy. Hmm...what I need is the team of peeps who built Euron’s ships because they’re clearly fast and efficient at getting things done, and they could handle some of my adulting stuff so I have more time to watch TV and write GoT episode recaps. XD

Dragonstone: The Place to Be Right Now in Westeros

Clearly traveling by TARDIS or teleportation or some other lightning fast mode of transportation, Jon and Davos arrive at Dragonstone, greeted by Tyrion and Missandei. Jon and Tyrion are genuinely pleased to see each other again, having shared their last scene together all the way back in the first season! After Jon and Davos comply with Missandei’s request to turn over their weapons, the group starts the ascent up to the castle. One of the dragons flies over, and a stunned Jon and Davos hit the ground.

Melisandre is also still at Dragonstone, secretly watching Jon and Davos. Varys questions her about why she’s hiding. She says she’s done her part; she’s brought ice and fire together. Her next stop is Volantis, and Varys tells her she shouldn’t return to Westeros. Melisandre replies that she’ll return one last time—to die there, just like Varys will. It’s almost impossible to catch the Spider off-guard, but Melisandre’s words seem to shake him a bit here.

In Which Two MAJOR Characters Meet

It’s time for the much-anticipated meeting! Daenerys looks very regal sitting on the Dragonstone throne. I love the bit of comic relief in this scene when Missandei effortlessly rattles of Daenerys’s 10,000 titles and Davos follows that up with Jon’s one title. Daenerys and Jon go back and forth about him bending the knee/not bending the knee as he also tries to convince her that the Night King and the White Walkers are real and are the biggest threat to Westeros. However, it’s really, really, really hard to persuade people who haven’t seen the frozen undead with their own eyes. They’re at a stalemate when Varys interrupts to tell Daenerys something quietly. Jon and Davos are dismissed, and we find out that Varys told Daenerys about Euron’s attack.

Euron Actually Makes Good on His Promise

Back in King’s Landing, Euron has once again traveled at record speeds to parade his prisoners Yara, Ellaria, and Tyene through the streets of the capital as the unruly mob jeers and spits at them. Euron rides his horse right into the throne room, where Cersei waits to welcome him with Jaime and Qyburn looking on. Once again, Euron takes some verbal jabs at Jaime.

Did Cersei Forget to Wipe the Kool-Aid from Her Mouth? Oh . . . Wait.

Ellaria and Tyene are chained and gagged in a cell, and Cersei walks in with her lips looking kind of weird. I should have caught on to Cersei’s plan straightaway! She goes on and on and on in a scene that goes on for too long. To Ellaria and Tyene’s horror, Cersei kisses Tyene with poison on her lips, just as Ellaria did to Myrcella. Ellaria is to be kept alive in order to watch her daughter die.

WTF, Jaime?

Suddenly Cersei doesn’t care about hiding the twincest. When is TV Jaime going to figure out that his sister is a psycho biatch and ditch her? Book Jaime is so different, and it’s painful to watch TV Jaime’s life choices sometimes, like in this episode.

You May Have Your Dragonglass, Jon Snow

Jon vents to Tyrion about no one believing him about the White Walkers. Tyrion says he does believe him, but don’t expect Daenerys to. Tyrion does offer to try and help Jon in some other way and goes back to Daenerys about the dragonglass, and she ends up granting Jon permission to mine it.

Is That You, Arya?! Ah, No. It’s Not.

Sansa appears to have things at Winterfell running smoothly. Littlefinger makes his weekly creepy comment, and then everyone’s attention is focused on which Stark has returned home to Winterfell this week. It’s either Bran or Arya, and not gonna lie, it would’ve been more exciting if it had been Arya. It’s Bran, though, and he’s like a freaking zombie/robot, speaking in a monotone and showing little emotion as a sobbing Sansa hugs him. In the godswood, Bran continues to seem like he’s completely checked out. Things get super awkward while Bran’s talking about the Three-Eyed Raven and brings up Sansa’s wedding to Ramsay.

It’s Amazing What Some Rest and a Change of Climate Can Cure!

Archmaester Ebrose pronounces Jorah greyscale-free! Jorah tries to lie, quite lamely, for Sam and cover up what he did to help, but Ebrose is not fooled in the least. Jorah is off to go find Daenerys. Ebrose lectures Sam about what he did, but he’s also impressed by Sam’s skills. Sam, however, has to go back to copying manuscripts with paper mites in them. His reward for saving Jorah's life is not being immediately expelled from Hogwarts the Citadel.

Euron’s Ships Set Yet Another Record!

There’s an emergency strategy meeting at Dragonstone. Daenerys wants to send the dragons after Euron’s ships, which means she’d have to endanger herself. Tyrion and Missandei argue that it’s out of the question. Cut to Grey Worm and the Unsullied approaching Casterly Rock. Tyrion believes they have an advantage, since he designed the sewer system, and that’s how the Unsullied will surprise the Lannister troops. We see the fighting, but something’s not quite right. There don’t seem to be as many Lannister men as they’d expected, and this worries Grey Worm. He peers over the castle wall and sees . . . Euron’s ships.

A Lady Until the End

Stealing a maneuver from Robb Stark, Jaime and the Lannister army have hightailed it to Highgarden, with former Tyrell bannerman Randyll Tarly’s support. Damn. Not only has Cersei paid back House Tyrell, but now she has significant funds with which to repay the Iron Bank. Jaime finds Lady Olenna in her chamber. She knows she’s about to die and asks how it will be done. Jaime says he talked Cersei out of torturing her and has poison, which he pours into Olenna’s wineglass. She downs it and then confesses to killing Joffrey, and she wants Jaime to let Cersei know that she did it. Game, set, match: Lady Olenna Tyrell. Oh, how we will miss you!

In the Next Episode

Daenerys stresses over losing, and it looks like the dragons are about to enter the war!