Wednesday, April 10, 2013

My Rage Will Not Be Unspoken: Melissa's Unspoken Rant

* Spoiler warning for Unspoken by Sarah Rees Brennan *

Disclaimer Thingy:

I love to complain! Alas, Lee has threatened me with bodily harm if I give out spoilers in my reviews. And since ranting requires something to rant about, I have not been able to fully express my book angst. At last! I have found a loophole! Mwahahaha! Do keep in mind that I am a whiny brat and I am only trying to be funny, but I will probably come off as really annoying. So, forgive me in advance.

My Unspoken Rant:

It all started when Lee and I decided to do another book toss-up. It worked well for both of us the first time. Little did I know what she had in store for me this time. Oh, and may I mention, Lee has yet to read her side of the toss-up. *cough* slacker *cough* You know, Lee is a vengeful wench. This was sabotage. I'll get her back though . . . .

After I finished Unspoken, I threw the book across the room and proceeded to have a tantrum. After I calmed down enough to communicate, I emailed Lee. I may have threatened her with bodily harm and called her "spawn of Satan," but I don't really remember. I think this is revenge for that time I told her I hoped her metabolism would collapse. In my defense, she eats the same crap I do, but she is still a size 0. How messed up is that?!

I have never been so emotionally abused by a book before. I loved and despised it at the same time. It's not fair!!! I don't know whether to give it five stars or one! Most likely 5, but I'm still really angry. I thought Kami was hilarious and sassy, but sometimes I wanted to put her in a meat grinder and feed her to the ducks! She should have been there for Jared! How could she do that?! WHY????? It was not her decision to make!!! He needs her! The worst part is, I can understand why she did it. But, I don't want to understand, I just want to be angry! I can't even explain how distraught I am! The only thing that comes close is screaming like a lunatic. I want to burn this book while simultaneously wanting to worship it. I bet Sarah Rees Brennan gets a lot of joy out of turning her fans into raving lunatics. I wonder if she has to hide away from all those angry readers.

I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE ON YOU, LEE!!! ARSEHAT!

12 comments:

  1. Why aren't you my new best friend already? YOU UNDERSTAND. I just tweeted to SRB, aka Second Spawn of Satan, the following: "'tisn't only I who would LOVE to hang you up by your toes & wait for the werewolves to get you. Not that I'm still mad" in response to the fact that she's totes okay with this post and being loved-hated.

    I am angry and I say: BURN THE WITCH, the one with the draft of Untold on her computer.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha! I'm glad I'm not the only one who had very violent thoughts regarding this book! ;)

      Delete
  2. I love rants...especially ones where you debate between 1 star or 5 stars and then opt with 5 (probably)...considering the intense reaction you had to this one, coupled with Lee's praise means I'll definitely be checking this one out. I may very well come back to this post after reading it if I have a similar reaction though :) Thanks for sharing!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unspoken is one of those books that are soooooo good, but frustrating at the same time. I wish you luck with it! :D

      Delete
  3. LOL Melissa, I love this rant. We should rant more often, you'll feel A LOT better once you have the chance to say what you want to say. :D

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ok, I read the intro and had a laugh because it can be quite fun and therapeutic to complain and rant! I am yet to read this so I skipped the rest ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha! Be sure to finish reading it after you read the book! ;)

      Delete
  5. Okay this post was hilarous! It makes me want to read Unspoken immediately though LOL

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am deeply honored that you found my rant to be so funny! And have fun reading! :D

      Delete
  6. Ahahahaha this book tends to have this effect on its readers. I found that ending to be absolutely EVIL. How on earth can we be expected to wait for months until Untold?! And all the while, she's feeding us all these heart-wrenching snippets!!
    Grrrrr...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I feel your pain! Haha! I'm also kinda dreading the next book. What if it gets worse?!

      Delete

We love hearing from our readers and do our best to reply. Thank you for taking the time to leave a comment!